Kate and I were heading to Ibra without Neil to start teaching at Al-Sharkiya University, but the morning of our trip from Al-Buraimi, we had no driver. Kate texted our big boss Hassanoui who said a driver would be there soon, but when the driver showed up Kate recognized him as "the pimply pervert who tried to get in my room two days ago." He had his dick in his hand when she opened her door. When I suggested she say something to someone, she didn't agree. 'It's not a big deal. I slammed the door on his nose.' She told me that Alisa, the new girl from America, told her that he had slept in her hotel room because he said "I have no place to stay." We refused to drive with him, so we left with Haseem, a young fellow who had driven us to the university everyday.
We finally got to Muscat and Kate went in to talk to Mohammed
Al-siyabi, a gorgeous hunk of flesh with an immaculately trimmed beard sprinkled with gray. He asked Kate what happened with
the driver and she went into some sobbing blubbery bullshit, a complete show.

After all the silliness at head office, we finally arrived in Ibra to a four-storey chunk of concrete with windows on a dusty lot strewn with construction debris thrown out of the building during its fabrication - metal, lumber and broken glass sat off in a tangled heap outside. Built to house the teachers at Al-Sharkiya, it would be nearly empty with only the few of us, so wandering through the building, we got to pick our own apartments. I flicked the light switches in the hallway and most of them didn't work, as did very little else electrical, so I took an apartment at the ground level so I wouldn't have to grope around at night and possibly electrocute myself on the stairwell. We had to use flashlights until they were fixed,
inshallah, within the next few weeks. I had no water in my kitchen, but there was water in the bathroom. I could take a shower, but just barely. I didn't dare turn on the gas stove for fear it would expode. The floors were grainy with cement and sand and the windows were frosted with dirt, but I was too tired to think. I unwrapped the plastic wrapping over the bed and blankets and pillows and fell on my back across the bed. It's exhausting being an overseas ESL teacher what with the constant adjustments to people and places.
My first day of working at the university and the taxi driver didn't know where it was, nor had he ever heard of it, so I was late to school after doing official business in town. The school is way the hell off in the sweltering desert on a barren expanse of beige sand without trees, only a sand-swept road leading up to it. But luckily, I got to the conference room just in time to witness the end of an argument between Brian and Cynthia, our coordinator, and her storming out of the room. Brian, who I haven't met, is a slightly built, blonde-haired retiree from El Paso, Texas, who somehow has a British accent. Mansouri, admonishing Brian, said "you mustn't be disrespectful towards her because she's a woman and women are sensitive. This is not acceptable Brian. You must love everybody."

I should have put a sock in my mouth and pulled a bag over my head and said nothing, instead I said "no, it's not water under the bridge as somebody has suggested, but a problem that will just get bigger and bigger." And just like that Mansouri looked at me and said "okay, you will be the coordinator from now on." This was not my objective, I just wanted to be the voice of reason, but I instantly wondered if being the voice of reason came with a raise. After the meeting, we wandered the halls and looked in the classrooms and found our offices. I wanted to be alone if I could, so I waited until everyone had picked their spots and then I took another office. There were three other desks with computers for future teachers who would be coming, but that was down the line, more teachers would arrive as student enrollment increased. As I was checking out my desk and surroundings I heard yelling coming from Mansouri's office. "What kind of Muslim are you!" and "You're a liar!" I peaked into the hall and joined the others, tip-toeing down to Mansouri's office to get a bead on Cynthia screaming at Mansouri, but by the time we got there, Mansouri had quieted the beast. She was banished to Al-Buraimi in exchange for Neil. Such is the first day getting oriented to the university.
When I got back to my apartment that afternoon I heard some raised voices in the hall. Brian, along with Teri and John, are upset and angry because they don't have any water. They're standing outside Neil's apartment grumbling. I approach, but don't stand too close because Brian has terrible body odor. However, never mind the shower and lack of water business, I'm gobsmacked by the size and shape of Teri's breasts and lose track of the conversation. It wasn't just their size against her skinny frame that slackened my jaw, but their perfection - not flat, not droopy, no nipples peeping out from under the bottom of her shirt, no weak breast tissue there as you would expect from someone in their mid-fifties, but perfect, like a cantelope sliced in two, scraped clean out and glued on. I was pondering all the ins and outs, pros and cons of breast implants when Brian cut into my thoughts. "So when is the goddamned water supposed to be fixed? Does anybody know then? This is going to be a bloody nightmare, I can tell you."
We're in teams of three now. There was a switch and Kate is now with Jackie and Tom and Brian is with me.
He’s too saucy for them, too critical of them, says Kate. He came in and out
of my room with silly questions about the text, about the full
colon being wrong before a capital and I said “Put it on your list
of things that are wrong with the book.” I repeated that all day as he wandered in and out, “Just put it on your list.” He knows he could
do a better job of things and he's becoming a right pain in the ass, what with the smell he leaves behind in my office. But lo, at the end of the day Cynthia (or Cindy as I
call her), our ex-coordinator, came back to the school and cursed and
screamed at Mansouri once again. "You're not a true Muslim!" and "I''m not going to Buraimi!" He had to close his door because of her
screaming, some of it obscene. Speaking in Arabic later to someone on the phone, I heard him repeating
the phrase “you’re a liar.” What will it be when the students arrive?

We got to find out fairly quickly. Classes started and as far as organization goes - what organization? The schedule needs to be redone. Books for most of the classes haven't arrived. The Study Skills exercise books are scattered across the floor in a locked spare room which nobody has the key to. We can't figure out what Mansouri wants, our Director for the General English Program who set the whole business up. He says one thing one day and then another thing the next. At staff meetings we're puzzled and this is nonsense from a fellow who supposedly has a Ph.D in communication. What books we have are way over the heads of the students since I had to go over abcs in a Study Skills class. Most of these kids come from the desert where they've been herding goats and camels and racing buggies over the dunes their whole lives. Typically, they're late for class and when they enter they go around shaking the hand of every other student. They sit down, take out their cell phones and chat with each other and if given a test, they brazenly give each other the answers. In Oman, if somebody asks for help, it's considered rude not to assist.
There is grumbling and dissatisfaction over the English level of the students and the classes and our living quarters, so much so that Neil has put in for another transfer to Al-Buraimi and Brian, who we've nicknamed Brains, has been wandering around the neighbourhood at night drunk. One night, he attended a party at the teacher's quarters for Ibra College, but he was so drunk when he left at midnight that he pounded on some random door, cursing and swearing and kicking, believing it the locked door to the street. An Omani family cowered on the other side of it. Brian woke up the next morning on his living room floor with no memory of how he got home or what happened or who he'd annoyed. He's not welcome back.
Mansouri took this time for a week's vacation and left the children in charge of the candy store and needless to say, we ate all the candy and trashed all the displays. One day, half the students didn't come in so I combined two classes. But Kate and Teri decided to let their classes out early and their students kept knocking at my door and piling in and chatting with my students. After numerous little battles trying to keep them out, I gave up and let my kids out, even though some didn't want to go. Brian had a class and he got so mad at one kid he grabbed his dishdashya and throttled him, telling him he didn't have a brain. The kid said he was going to report Brian to the Dean. Anthony, a new teacher, with a thick red neck and a huge gut who loves guns and acts and talks like he should be in the police force because everybody's either a "fruitcase" or a "nutjob," had to listen to so much shouting and fighting going on in the hall with Brian, he also let his students out early.
Our biggest dispute seems to be the hours we're teaching. Evidently, we're supposed to teach a 3-hour Study Skills book to kids who don't even know their abcs and I said, "There's no way I'm doing three hours with those kids. They don't even know what the word study means." Kate agreed. But then Jackie said we were supposed to do three hours for the second level group. "It doesn't matter their level. They're both bad," I said. Kate argued with Jackie about the time schedule and said,"I'll listen to what my boss tells me, not you" and then Jackie and Teri got into an snit over Jackie's schedule because Jackie can "sleep in in the morning and wouldn't it be nice if we all could?" because Jackie only works 18 hours instead of 21 and then we're all choked because Mary, the math teacher, only works 8 hours a week and collects the same salary. Jackie and Tom, the only married couple, also got into because "You're not supporting me!" she sobbed.
Kate, Mike and Tom rushed off and went to the bar. Brian has no friends here and then there's Neil. He wrote me a two-page letter about what the problems are with the program and I read it and said it was good but then he snatched it from me and tore it up and tossed it in the garbage. "Okay, I'm starting to feel like Nellie Bly. My day's over." I said. I called our driver to come and take the the children home and he said, "I'm not coming until later because Abdul still has a class." "Dude, there's nobody here but us teachers!" I said. Everyone was pissed because we now had to wait for Abdul to do his math class, so I got a taxi with Teri. But just as we're about to take off, Brian comes running out the door waving to us to wait and we're like "go, go, go, don't wait for that asshole" and we made our escape from the madhouse for some ice cold screwdrivers at home. At one o'clock in the afternoon.
I saw Brian later on. As I walked past his flat his door was open and he was having a drink. He invited me in to ask some questions. "When is the medical? When are the visas going to be done? When is my bloody air conditioning going to be fixed?" I shrugged and told him his guess was as good as mine. "Do you want a beer?" We sat down to watch a live broadcast on CNN of some Chilean miners being rescued after weeks of being trapped in a mineshaft. Watching the harrowing endeavor and the tearful families and the miners as they rose from the dead exhausted and blacker than coal dust, Brian started to wax philosophical about his own life and the close-calls he had lived through. Evidently, he had been an Olympic diver and was in Munich when the Israelis were attacked and killed. His quarters happened to be adjacent to the Israeli athletes, so German marksmen used his apartment to fire off their guns at the terrorists. "The explosions from the gunfire was so loud I almost went deaf." Then he told me he was in Kuwait when it was invaded by Saddam Hussein and he was held as a hostage by some Iraqi soldiers in some dumpy Kuwaiti palace so that a few Iraqi soldiers could get out of town. "They were nice guys." When they let him go, he was put in a car with some British "chick" as they were driven out of town. Suddenly bullets whizzed around the car, pinged off the hood, shattered the side windows and they had to duck and cover.....
Mansouri, our Director of the General English Program, asked me to write and update him on the school program, seeing as I was a coordinator, so I wrote him a note outlining all the problems. He wasn't happy with my report.
"The university General English Program is in chaos. The atmophere is poisoned and everybody is unhappy. What books we have are unteachable to students, many of whom don't know their abcs. There are no teaching supplies (cds, cd players, copy paper, books, dictionaries, etc.) There is confusion over the scheduling. The goals are unattainable for this semester. The boys and girls should have separate classes as their knowledge and commitment levels are at odds. The Study Skills course needs to be scrapped entirely. Evidently, we're supposed to teach one Study Skills lesson for three hours. It's not tenable. Also, one teacher (Mary) is teaching math eight hours per week and (evidently) making the same salary. This is causing resentment, perhaps that teacher could do some English teaching hours? Brian went off on a student today in a totally inappropriate manner. Just giving you an update. Hope your holiday goes well!"
Paul, our teacher friend from Al-Buraimi, has been phoning Kate. "Get your asses up here! We really need you! It's crazy here!” I wrote to Ottawa Steve to ask what was going on and he said that after one of the staff
meetings Paul slammed Steve's head against the wall and throttled him for being "disrespectful" and they had a scuffle in the hallway and Daniel had to tackle him to break it up. Paul downplayed it but Paul, according to Steve, has major "issues." Steve said he overheard Paul at the bar talking to one of his buddies and
telling him that they don’t like “black” people in Oman. Paul was transferred to a school in Sur, which means you just have to assault someone to get a transfer. Are they racist in Oman? Yes, they are. But to be fair, in all my travels I haven't lived in or travelled to one country that isn't intolerant of some race or ethnic group.
And the weeks went on. Mansouri cut Neil's classes in half, taking away his grammar classes. But when I observed Neil's classroom with his students sauntering in and out of the room making phone calls or texting at their desk, or viewing videos in little groups and chuckling, while Neil stood at the front of the class trying to conduct a lesson, it was easy to see the writing on the whiteboard for Neil. He came into my office complaining, looking close to tears his face was so blotchy and red. But no, he was angry. "Mansouri cancelled my classes! Do you have Dr. Ali's phone number?" I told him Dr. Ali was no longer in Buraimi, he had been sacked. Neil was breaking down.
Over the Xmas holiday, Anthony, John and Neil went to the Empty Quarters, or Rub Al Khali, the world's large sand desert, to go camping. It was cold at night and Anthony only had two shirts while John brought a coat. But as Anthony lay shivering in his tent he heard mumbling and moaning and cursing and some yelling coming from Neil's tent, so Anthony thought Neil was being attacked by something. He peeped outside his tent to see Neil hopping around in the dark, cursing while kicking some of the gear laying about, his arms thrashing the air. It was at this point Anthony wished he had his weapon with him. The Omani guide lay awake. None of them slept the rest of the night, only falling asleep when the sun crept over the dunes at dawn, except for Neil, who continued to wrestle ghosts in his tent.
I was having breakfast in the little restaurant downstairs one morning when I heard Neil yelling at a workman who was drilling into a wall, putting up a picture in the hallway. “ARE YOU FINISHED NOW!” he screamed at the dumfounded fellow, who doesn't understand English. ‘NEXT TIME TELL PEOPLE BEFORE YOU START DOING
THAT!” and stomped off upstairs. I said to him later. “You
need to get in touch with that noise bullshit that you’ve got going before you freak out.” “I’m trying to. Before I hurt somebody," he said.
At every weekly meeting there is a dispute. One day we went over the new schedule, the mid-term exams and today, a portfolio we're expected to create for each student, which is time-consuming. We whined about that and I said something to Mansouri about the redundancy of it and Brian looked at me and sneered. "It's called teaching." When he looked at me a minute later I mouthed "Fuck you." He ignored me but when he looked over again I mouthed "Fuck you." He leapt to his feet and shook his fist. "What did you just say?" and I said "Absolutely nothing" all innocent like and Mansouri shouted. "Shut up and sit down Brian!" Teri can’t stand Jacqui, Kate can’t stand
Jacqui, Brian can’t stand Tom or Jacqui, Jacqui and Tom can’t
stand Brian, Brian hates me, no one likes Anthony and everyone questions Neil's sanity. Dispositions are unraveling.
The problems are ongoing not only with school, but with our apartment building. Lightbulbs were put into the hallways and now they've burned out. The light needs to be changed in my bathroom and the smell of a dead body is rising up through the drainpipes. The workmen came to fix water leaks, now all the tanks are leaking. Teri’s place
is the worst. Her toilet leaks and her kitchen light makes an awful buzz. She turns on her water pump in the kitchen and water appears all over the floor and
behind her sink. With enough noise from the damned thing to get Neal knocking on her door.
Brian handed in his resignation
only to rescind it and Anthony was pulled off his classes and put in
charge of the “writing lab.” One morning the kids in my class were passing
around a piece of paper to be signed. "We want to get rid of Anthony!" They can’t understand him and he keeps on kicking kids out of his
class. No one likes him and as it turned out later, we were right not to like him.