Another Medical Visit - Taiwan

     I had another little adventure in Taiwan. I was in the doctor’s office once to get my annual check-up, a necessary evil that has to be done every year on ex-pats in order to renew their Alien Resident Card. Believing that all the paper work from the school would be done by the time I returned from my vacation in Egypt, I was alarmed upon my return when the secretary called me from my school and said "go to hospital, something wrong with test and we can't get papers for renew your card."      

     I went to the hospital. After paying another fifteen dollars to give another sample of my urine and after waiting for the results in a room full of people coughing and spitting and a woman vomiting all over her chest while passing in and out of consciousness, I got my results. For the second time in a month, I had tested positive for pregnancy.

     I laughed and said to the nurse “well, if I am pregnant, it's an immaculate conception." I was then shuffled into another room with a doctor and a serious expression to tell me that something must be wrong with my ovaries. The tests said so. I knew at that moment how people must feel when they've just been told they may have cancer, or they may lose their leg, or that their unborn child will be born with no brain. However, I got over the news quickly because as I was taking off my pants for them to do another exploration of my hidden treasure while needlessly apologizing for the layer of grizzly fur on my white veiny legs, I was already looking forward to my impending death, because in life as in death, I try to stay positive.

     Hallelujah! This brief, agonizing episode called life on earth may soon be over! I smiled and lay on my back and opened the golden gate. After doing an exploratory of my heavenly prize they told me they couldn't see anything wrong with my ovaries, but that I should come back for another physical the following month, just in case. But I never returned because I received my ARC and that was the whole point of my visit. But also, having misdiagnosed me as pregnant, what would the next visit entail? A heartbeat?